23 November 2007

sweater on the loose

So, I have many talents. But really one of my strongest one is losing things. I loose keys, staplers, pens, wallets, metrocards, clothes, hats, gloves, and on and on. Really, if you would like something lost you should hand it to me and I will lose it within 15 seconds.

Lately I have been knitting a beautiful baby sweater. It has been very satisfying. I cast on after we ate on Thanksgiving and by this evening I had the back, both arms, and part of the front knit. I was in the middle of explaining how satisfying this was when I went in my bag to find these peices to show-and-tell. Or to brag. Who knows.

But in my bag was only the sweater back, the sleeve I had just finished, and the front that I was knitting. Since I am talented in this area and thus have a lot of experience with What To Do When You Suspect Something Has Been Lost I began carefully and calmly taking everything out of my bag. "It has to be here," I insisted. It wasn't.

So I put everything back into my bag and tried once more. I carefully took everything out one by one checking it closely for signs of a missing sleeve. No sleeve. "Oh well, it must be at home. I probably threw it out of my bag when I was looking for my hat earlier." (Is it becoming clearer why I am so good at losing things?)

Once we got home, no sleeve. So I called everywhere I sat knitting today (1 restaurant, 1 bar) and asked if perhaps I had left it there. Now, usually when you call about a missing object it is easy to describe what you are missing in a generaly fashion, a coat, a headband, a sweater, a wallet. (Again, I know this through much personal experience) But a sleeve to a baby sweater is not so easy. First of all it isn't a sleeve yet, it actually looks more like a washcloth. But it isn't square so a really funny kind of washcloth. "Umm, this might sound strange but I think I left and oddly shaped piece of knitted fabric there earlier today?" "What?" "An oddly shaped piece of knitted orange fabric. It looks like a washcloth but not sqare." "Ummm, is it like a piece of clothing or art?" (Can you tell that I was in Chelsea by all the art galleries?)

Everyone I talked to was very kind, searched the restaurant or bar and got back on the phone, "well, I don't really see anything and I think if we had what you are talking about we would know it. So sorry, we really hope you find it!" (This is the best customer service I've had all day)

So. No knitted sleeve = I have to knit yet another sleeve. Luckily this clearly does not take all that much time. Here is what I am down to in terms of the sweater:

What do you think the other sleeve is out doing? If you happen to see it cavorting around town will you let it know I miss it? That I would really like it to come back now?

I think the fact that I am only mildly irritated by the whole escapade speaks to how totally accustomed I am to losing really important and devastating things. How does one divest themself of a talent?

1 comment:

paige said...

Talents are gifts from God (or other supernatural, all-knowing, gift distributing entity) and as such should be embraced, not divested.

You should turn it into a positive. You could become an inanimate object hitman, of sorts; hiring yourself out to lose things that people no longer want...for a nominal fee, of course.

I personally have about 50 cubic feet of baby things that I am afraid to throw away for fear that doing so will cause me to immediately become pregnant with another little girl- something I'm not quite ready for just yet. If I lost the stuff, however, it would be a karmically different story. Are you available for hire immediately?