25 June 2007

welcome to my recent knitting craziness

So it is summer vacation for me. When I tell most people this I am met with a look of longing desire mixed with deep hatred. i understand this look, really. Because I think that look is sort of how I feel in February when I think, "how will I ever make it to summer vacation and there is no way that it is ever ever going to happen." Except the difference is that when I have that thought I know it will eventually come wheras when people look at me with that special blend of desire and hatred I know it is because they know it will not.

Yes, I am blessed with 2 months off every summer, but it is a mixed blessing. There are many stages of summer vacation excitement. In talking to other teachers I have come to believe this is indeed wide spread and can be termed "summer vacation syndrome" It begins with the the dreamy thought of ahhhhhh two months where I can do WHATEVER I WANT! Then there is the terrifying thought of eeekkkkk I can do WHATEVER I WANT! No structure, no appointments, just a blank void of time. A terryfying void. The first responsse is to begin filling it with fantasy projects. Here are some of mine:

oh! I can stay at work a few extra days trying to get a few things done that I never seem to have time to do!
mmmm! I can knit every morning!
oooo! I can redo the sewing closet!
ahhhh! I will knit lots of dishclothes!
eeek! I can read lots of books!
sigh! I will knit an octopus for my classroom next year (the kids picked the animal)
hey! I can take a few education classes!
hmmmm....I COULD go see a 4 evening opera with James since he really really wants to go.
yipeee! I'll go to Africa!
yes! I will knit socks on the way to Africa!
ohhh! I have lots of friends getting married, I'll be able to go to 3 of the weddings!
hmmmm...maybe I can finish that shawl on the way to those weddings!
yeah! I will work out a little every day.

This continues throughout the spring as you list one dream after another.

At the beginning of summer you begin to plot the reality of the relaxing summer you have planned for yourself and then begin to get very very stressed. "How will I do all of this?" you think.

Finally you decide that your goals were "guidelines" rather than actual things to accomplish.

Most of those things on my list WILL happen but I might have to let go of the sewing closet in order to make enough time to knit, though that thought makes me hold back a few tears. We will see. THERE IS NO RUSH (as I keep telling myself to no avail).

The best part of summer has been the ridiculous amount of time I can spend knitting. I've finished up several old projects and begun the "March of the Dishclothes." I might be addicted.


paige said...

This is a very pretty blog and humongously puddingy on top of that!
I'm thinking of you sitting around your apartment quietly knitting dishcloths after waking late this morning to have a lesiurely breakfast of something healthy, meatless, and non-allergenic.

It's an odd blend of desire and hatred- like a see-saw inside me that tilts first one way, then the other. Then I think about the 10 months you spend herding cats and dealing with upset parents with too much time and money on their hands and sorting out all the morgans, dakotas, and jacobs from one another and I'm happy to sit in my quiet office year round.

sarah said...

hmmmm good point. Perhaps the desire and hatred part is more similar to when I am teaching and am contemplating the idea of having an email job. Where I could wake up, go to work, drink some coffee, check my email leisurely, go about my work, and perhaps attend some meetings. Instead I run around like a headless chicken as soon as I get to work so that I can be ready for the kids. And then I run around all day making sure that the 15 kids are safe and gainfully occupied. And then I run around all afternoon getting everything ready for the next day.